I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
