The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
