i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so let's talk penis.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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