Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
