For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
