so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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