it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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