you turned your livingroom into a bong?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
