Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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