what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
