Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
