***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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