Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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