I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
