I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my shit smells like andre
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Randomize
