On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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