is your mom at the bar?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
