Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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