I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize