dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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