I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Terrible idea I love it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
