I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
