so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
