I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
