She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
