she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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