remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
