So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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