You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
