Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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