oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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