You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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