That's intense
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
