Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize