I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize