You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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