When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
