Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
