I wish i was in the wii world.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
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I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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