he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
