yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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