Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
