I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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