you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize