remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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