I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
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She even gives head with a lisp.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
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What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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