I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize