I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
