the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
