Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
