Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
