there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
