I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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