GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Farmville is her only friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
