u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize