so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
