Heybabeimwearingurpanties
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
