I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm bleeding and have questions
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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