No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize