Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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