A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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