that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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