You're completely useless in the revolution.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why do cheetos always look like penises
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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