dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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